Well, it’s that time of year. The school year is well underway…who has gotten sick already?! We have!!!! Thankfully, it wasn’t anything bad, just congestion and coughs, but it reminded me of how important rest is. When your kids are sick, everything feels off. People in your house are not sleeping as they usually do, you might need to remember to give medicine at certain times of the day, kids might be home from school, which means your schedule is probably disrupted. It can be a lot to handle. I’m here to remind you that even when everyone is sick, your self care matters. The time you spend on yourself matters. You cannot do everything for everyone, and you cannot pour from an empty cup. So during this sick season, make sure you add yourself to the list of people you need to take care of!

When Everyone is Sick, Except for You

Usually in our house everyone else is sick for a week or two, and then I get it. It’s like my immune system holds it off while I’m taking care of everyone else and then it finally succumbs once everyone else has recovered. Because this is almost always how things go, I know that I’ve got time to prep my house before I get sick. So I try my best to think ahead about what might be helpful to me once I’m not feeling well.

The easiest thing is to stock up on extra food, so I have staples on hand in case getting to the store is difficult. I also prioritize what actually needs to get done. If I’m feeling well, I generally try to keep my chores as normal as possible, but I’m flexible in case extra things come up. I might be doing more laundry if the illness is a stomach bug, I might need to change up when I vacuum if I have kids home from school and asleep on the couch, or I might need to let things completely drop if I’ve been up in the night with kids that don’t feel good. The biggest thing is that I need to give myself grace and not guilt. Guilt isn’t helpful and can be harmful to our mindset when we’re trying to prioritize rest during a stressful time.

When your kids are home sick from school, things are going to be different. And that’s okay! You’re going to be tending to them and other things will need to get set to the side. That’s okay! You might be making super easy dinners because you’re exhausted and people’s appetites may be changed due to illness. That’s okay! When I think about self-care at a time when you’re taking care of others, my biggest thought is: when are you fitting in rest? Rest may be different from person to person, so try to find what feels best for you and your situation. If your kids are home sick, can you rest when they rest? Sit down and watch a show with them. If they’re taking a nap, can you take one too? Or just sit down and read a book while they rest so that you don’t feel overwhelmed and frazzled by the change in routine. It is okay to prioritize your rest at this time, you cannot pour from an empty cup!

When You’re Finally Sick and Everyone Else is Not

It’s inevitable, after everyone else gets better, that’s when I get sick. The problem is, when kids get sick, they get days off of school to rest and get better; when moms get sick…they still have to be a mom. You still have to get kids on the bus, you still have to pack lunches and snacks, you still have to keep track of all the things everyone needs and where everyone needs to go. So how in the world are you supposed to allow your body to rest and recover, if your day still has to be about taking care of everyone else?

Again, the biggest thing is to give yourself grace, and not guilt. The next biggest thing is to ask for help!! Yep, usually you most likely do everything for everyone, but while you’re sick – find people to help you! What chores can your kids or husband help with? Can someone else pick your kids up from school or the bus stop for you? Can you switch carpool with another mom to cover driving to an after school activity? Do you have family nearby that can stop in to help with cleaning the bathrooms? Can someone pick up your grocery order for you?

Let’s talk about chores. This is where a lot of moms feel like they have to push themselves when they’re not feeling well because they feel like they have to maintain the house, even when they’re sick. The truth is: you don’t. When you are sick, you need to prioritize getting better. And really, who’s going to know (besides your family) that your house isn’t clean? What chores can be left undone until you’re feeling better? In my house the first chore to go is usually vacuuming. It’s the first thing to be set aside, because it’s time consuming and not a priority for me when other things come up. Your answer may be different than mine, and that’s great! Think about what’s best for your family! What would be something you could set aside until you feel better? 

How To Accept That Things Will Be Different While You Recover

When you’re sick, you probably still have that annoying voice in your head that tries to push you, and remind you of all the things that are being missed while you rest. “Why are you resting? You don’t feel that bad, you could easily get up and put away the laundry! You should have picked a more nutritious dinner. Macaroni and chicken nuggets again – you’re going to make your kids unhealthy! The living room is still a disaster. What have you been doing all day – you definitely had time to do some cleaning. You’re just being lazy, you don’t really need to rest.” Yikes! Those are some harsh thoughts, but I guarantee there has been a time when you thought some version of them while trying to take care of yourself.

First let me say, having those thoughts is normal. However, that does not mean those thoughts are true, accurate, or helpful. In fact, they are the exact opposite. Those thoughts are false, lies, and hurtful. There are some alternative thoughts that you can use in times when rest is needed to help shift your mindset. Below I’ve listed some reminders that I use at times when rest is necessary but it feels difficult to let go of the list in my head.

• Rest is the best way to get better: if I try to push through it may draw out my sickness or make it worse.
• Resting when I’m sick is not selfish, it is necessary!
• This is temporary. I can get back to my usual tasks when I am feeling better. Right now my rest is more important than chores.

You can easily change these to match your situation, but they are a great jumping off point for some positive thinking!

How Can Life Coaching Help?

You might be wondering how working with a life coach can help in times when you are sick, because why would you want one more thing to worry about? Here’s the thing: life coaching is about the future. Working with a life coach can help you prepare yourself for the next time you’re sick, or can help you think about how to catch back up once you’re feeling better. I’m a mom too, I get sick too. I completely understand that while you’re sick it may not work to keep that week’s meeting, because you may need the time to rest, but I’ll still be there to support you before and after! I’ll help you make your way through so that things don’t feel so overwhelming when you’re ready to catch up on what you set aside. Here are some specific examples that life coaching can help you with:

• Helping you determine what is most important to your family during sick season.
• Supporting you in brainstorming and setting up the systems that you can put in place when you are sick.
• Guiding you through finding ways to fit rest into your days so you don’t burnout or prolong your illness.
• Brainstorming lists of who to ask for help and what to ask for help with.
• Encouraging you to think outside the box about how to get the necessary things done.

Those are just a few ways that working with a life coach can benefit you while you make your way through sick season. Every family and every mom will have different needs and priorities. I am here to help you work through and discover what would be the most beneficial for you!

Reflection Questions:

Navigating sick season can be overwhelming and can feel never ending. I’m here to remind you that it is temporary and you can make it through. Remember that it’s okay to set things aside until you’re in a better place to get back to them. Prioritizing your rest and recovery is necessary, not selfish! Don’t forget that you matter!

I have created some reflection questions to help you think a little bit deeper about how you feel in your current stage of motherhood. If, after you have answered these questions thoughtfully, you are interested in diving even deeper into working with a life coach, please reach out through this link and we can work together to find what fits you in this season of life!

Reflection Questions:

1. What do you struggle with the most when you are sick? (loss of control, loss of routine, allowing yourself to rest)
2. What is one thing you can decide right now to help yourself later when you are sick?
3. What are the household tasks you want to prioritize when you’re sick? Who can help get those things done?

However you are feeling about your motherhood journey is valid and differs from person to person. My goal is to help you find what works best for you and your family in this season of life. What works for one mom, might not resonate with another. If this blog resonated with you and you’d like to learn more about working with a coach, you can reach out through this link. The first consultation call is always free, with no commitment unless you feel it is a good fit for you. If you’ve been wanting to make a change, now is the time! Do what feels right for you and remember, you matter!

*Coaching is not a substitute for therapy. This Mom Matters Coaching does not guarantee any results. I am not a licensed psychologist or healthcare professional. My services do not replace the care of psychologists or other healthcare professionals. This is a lifestyle blog and is not meant to be used as medical advice or to help to treat/diagnose any medical or mental health issues.

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